God: My Only Constant

It's difficult to write a blog when not much seems to change, yet, not much is stable either. It seems that life for us is a constant wondering what the next step will be. A while ago, when I was still in the U.S., I had felt very strongly that God was telling me we would be in Canada some day. At that point I was not at all interested in the idea of going to Canada due to the cold weather but now I am clinging onto that word and making preparations. in January or February I should be able to start the process by taking the entrance exam for a 2-year Spanish/English translation program offered at the Glendon Campus of York University in Toronto. I would love to continue my studies in translation and learn French. Luckily, Glendon College is a bilingual English/French school so they should also offer a lot of opportunities to fill that French hole in me that is yearning to be filled. Toronto is a very culturally diverse city, has an on fire church that I recently learned of and came to admire, and just happens to be 7-8 hours from my home in Pennsylvania. All of these details make Toronto a very attractive city for us to relocate to.

Sometimes the stress of wondering where we will be and how things will turn out for us, piles up and feels like an immense burden on my shoulders. I attempt to let it all go and give it back to God. I know that we are exactly where He wants us even if I don't particularly like it. Every day that I am here, I thank God for Fabian and for the way He has worked in our relationship. While I have seen countless couples torn apart as they try to make it through the immigration process, it's quite obvious to me that this whole situation has strengthened our bond. Our trust and respect for each other has grown, we are able to more quickly work through issues that arise, and don't take each other for granted. Now, all we can do is walk forward and follow God's leading. If we come to a dead end we will simply turn around and search for another way out until we find a path that is open. I'm thanking God He knows what He's doing, and that He is an expert when it comes to working with "the impossible".

Well, this blog feels a bit blah to me but sometimes we have to write about the blah things that reflect the reality of life for the moment. We really are blessed and recognize our blessings despite our various frustrations. I am including some photographs from a recent party held in the street at my in-law's house. This was in celebration of three people's birthdays: Ulises (Fabian's brother shown in a picture with his wife and three children), Adrian (married to Fabian's sister, Mimi - they are pictured together and I am in a separate picture with their son, Jurgen) and Fabian (my husband of course - hopefully you can tell which one he is in the pictures :) )

Thanks for your prayer support!

Love and blessings,

Alicia

P.S. This is a verse I have been meditating on lately: "Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation." Isaiah 12:2 Throughout all of this, God has become my everything and I pray I will continue to rely on Him even in the future when our life has become more successful and stable.

Veronica's Visit: A Breath of Fresh Air and Treasured Books

Last Saturday, May 15th, 2010 I got my first visitor. My older sister Veronica flew in from Pennsylvania for a week to experience a small piece of Mexico. It was her first out of country experience and her first in an airplane. She didn’t seem to be too bothered by the newness of any of it and in the end I think I was more nervous for her than she was. Before her trip I reminded her a million times not to forget her passport and to bring sun block. During the week I was telling her to use the restroom whenever we came across one even if she didn’t need to because restrooms are harder to come by here. And, before I sent her off this morning I got out a check list I had made for her and verified that she had remembered everything. She’s probably relieved to return to her home in the woods where I can no longer smother her. I forget that she’s older than me, has lived by herself for many years and has somehow survived without my constant surveillance. I really wanted this trip to go smoothly so she’d enjoy herself and consider returning again someday.

Saturday evening Fabian drove me to the airport just 30 minutes away. When we arrived I impatiently stood by the exit for the international passengers and watched the updates of the flights on the board posted overhead. I shifted my weight from one leg to the other, paced and fidgeted constantly. I slapped Fabian’s hand away from me for the millionth time as he endearingly pinched my chipmunk cheeks. This is a routine we go through frequently; I move uncontrollably with excess energy as he does all kinds of annoying things to get my attention. I reminded myself how much I missed that when we were separated but continued to chide him for not stopping when I told him to the first time. We are very similar in that manner. I’m sure you would never have guessed this but I too pick at him incessantly even after he’s demanded that I stop. I guess that in some strange way we enjoy bothering each other. (Don't worry, we are still as in love as ever).

Finally, the sliding doors opened and instead of yet another stranger emerging I saw Veronica’s familiar peaceful face. She picked us out of the crowd quickly since there weren’t many other blondes jumping up and down, and waving at her. Fabian leaned over the metal retaining barriers to relieve her of her heavy suitcase while I walked briskly in the same direction as she did so I could meet her at the entrance. She gave me an amazingly strong and long lasting hug which helped me release some of my suppressed emotions through short bursts of tears. I always spend a long time describing the reunions instead of the rest of the week and the goodbyes because it’s the reunions that we spend more time dreaming about, picturing and looking forward to expectantly. Everything that comes after the initial meeting is wonderful and beautiful but that first moment is what sets the stage and many times is what is set in our memory even more vividly than the other moments. Also, I like to cling to the beautiful teary moments instead of the ugly goodbyes that inevitably follow.

Fabian and I chattered away and drilled her about her first experience in an airplane as she insisted she didn’t have any great reactions, or stories to relay to us. This continued the entire week; we/I drilled her and she came up speechless. She never has been a lady of long descriptions and wordy analysis. Obviously in that area we are quite different. I give her detailed descriptions of the most boring moments and she listens intently (that trait comes from mom) or at least does a good job of pretending she’s listening intently (that trait also comes from mom) and I always appreciate it no matter which is the case.
The other thing that happened repeatedly throughout the week was her noticing a new and beautiful plant, bird or rock and turning to me exclaiming, “Oh, look at that!” and then asking, “What is it?!” I would then respond, “Ah, yes, that is beautiful! I see that all over the place but I have no idea what it is.” Poor girl thought she was going to learn all kinds of new facts about the natural things native to Mexico but she must have forgotten that I have not taken a dendrology (tree identification) class and nor do I have any bird, plant or geological identification books. We tried to investigate some of her questions online but mostly came up unsuccessful. I took her to a greenhouse so she would have someone knowledgeable handy to answer her questions but even when the greenhouse lady told me what something was in Spanish all I could do was translate it literally and hope that it had a similar name in English.

While Veronica enjoyed seeing all of the new sites both rustic and modern, I enjoyed going to the touristy town of Ajijic which is on the shore of Lake Chapala, the largest lake in Mexico. Ajijic is just an hour away and is the adopted home to many American and Canadian retirees. Its architecture is beautiful, the town is tranquil and it is an ideal place for an artsy American to escape to; I of course being the artsy expat that I’m referring to. I got a bit jealous of the people that live there and wished I could afford to buy a house and settle there as well. I was shocked to find that they even have a library of English books. The fact that they are in English is less important to me than the fact that they have a library. As soon as I stepped into the library I took a deep breath and enjoyed the scent of pages upon pages of words. I walked slowly between the rows of books letting my fingers touch each one and leaned in close to them to get a better sniff. Books are something that I didn’t learn to appreciate until later in life when I started traveling and realized how rare they can be.

Veronica has concluded that besides being book starved I am also so animal starved that I am dangerous! When we were at the zoo I saw a man walking with a very healthy and sweet looking golden retriever. I stopped the man, asked permission to pet his dog and proceeded to kneel on the ground, hug the dog and rub my face against his. He seemed quite fine with my affection. However, in Ajijic I came across two very healthy and tame looking cats. Oh how I love cats! I tried to mellow my approach for them because I knew they might not be as receptive to my love as the dog but my “mellow” was still too intense for them. The one hissed at me and the other one ran with terror. A few seconds later, Veronica approached the one and picked it up in her arms. I gave her an evil glare but realized that my over eagerness could be frightening to a harmless animal.

Today was the end of my refreshing time with someone that I can trust and who understands me. I drove Veronica to the airport by myself at 4:15 a.m. and put her on the plane. I won’t drag this part out because it’s not the part I like to focus on. Anyway, I was thrilled to have a whole week with her and am now looking forward to my parent’s visit in July (sorry mom, now that I’ve published it you can’t back out).

As always, thanks for your prayers and support!

Love,
Alicia

P.S. The picture of the pink house is to show you that even bright pink can be a charming color for a place of residence! I’ve also included a photo that shows tea time with Veronica; a family tradition of ours.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
-Matthew 6:33 & 34

Yes, It Is Possible to Love What You Once Hated

When I was a little girl I hated garden work. I much preferred staying in the house and cooking. I had no reason to want to plant anything at home because my mother kept everything so nice and I was constantly surrounded by nature both inside and outside of the house. Now that I'm living in a development in the second largest city in Mexico with not so much as a square foot of tillable ground, I've decided to start gardening. Here, I know that if I want anything green around me to provide fresh oxygen for my lungs the responsibility will be all mine. Unfortunately my mom is not able nor willing to fly here several times a year to make sure I am surrounded by vegetation and beauty. It's amazing how something I once hated so much can now be so rewarding. Yesterday, Fabian and I spent the day buying pots, dirt and plants. I tried to imagine how things would look in my my mind and knew that while I wouldn't be able to do it all in a day, at least I could get a good start. Little by little my container garden will grow.I was amazed that Fabian even got involved in transplanting the plants to their new home. He didn't get his hands in the dirt but he did use a shovel! He seemed to appreciate the end results almost as much as I did.

The last 2 weeks I struggled with some cultural clashes and a little bit of homesickness. However, my job teaching English is wonderful! I work 4 hours a night Monday through Friday and sometimes Saturday mornings. I spend most of the day making lesson plans but I know that with time that will be less and less. Since I work in the development across the street I only spend 3 minutes on the road driving. I'd love to walk to work every day but when classes are over it's dark and I always carry my lap top with me which seems to be a highly admired item.

This week is Holy Week and I have the entire week off work. I had hoped to do intensive lesson planning but have decided to get caught up on some things such as blogging and relaxing as well. With Easter Sunday coming I was brainstorming how I could bring Easter to Mexico since my husband's family doesn't celebrate it. Mom emailed me her recipe for pickled beets and pickled eggs that I like so much. They have somehow become a symbol of home and the holidays. I successfully made a batch last night and even convinced my sister-in-law, Mimi, to try one of these strange purple eggs. She didn't react nearly as poorly as Fabian. I still haven't been able to convince him to eat one. I'm hoping to spend some God time near my plants on Easter morning. I guess I will call it my own personal sunrise service. I need to do something to celebrate Easter. I thought about buying a chocolate bunny and chocolate eggs but found out they don't sell those in Mexico. In the future, if anyone wants to visit me, keep in mind that the week before Easter is a good week to do so since I have off. It's a good week to travel about the city but not a good week to go to the beaches or the water parks since everyone in the city leaves to enjoy their vacation in the coolness of the water. I included a picture of an octopus which was the victim of our digestive systems a few weeks back. I thought you all might get a kick out of seeing it. It was very yummy! I'm hoping to prepare another octopus when my sister, Veronica, comes to visit me in May. Well my dear family and friends, enjoy your Easter and remember me in your prayers! Please pray for Fabian's safety as his job is a very dangerous one. About 2 weeks ago the violence in the area increased. Since there is a war between the drug dealers and the police, people such as Fabian and his boss are commonly targeted. In the local area others in his position have been murdered and/or kidnapped. I am not worried nor stressed about it because I feel very confident that no matter what harm comes our way we will survive and God will use it to His glory, but I do believe he needs extra prayers for safety. Thank you for your prayers and support! I love and miss you all very much!

"The Lord will keep you from all harm--He will watch over your life: the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore." -Psalm 121:7-8

Love and blessings,

Alicia

Transition Between Two Worlds

As I made preparations to leave for Mexico, I

concentrated on strengthening myself

spiritually. I know God is the reason I am alive and that the only way I'll make it through any of life's trials is if I am on the right track with Him. I was grateful to The Life Center (my church) for sending me to Kansas City for the One Thing Conference the last week of December. A group of 5 people from the church drove 16 hours out, attended the conference put on by IHOP (International House of Prayer) and worshipped God with 20,000 other spirit-filled Christians. I also got the unexpected opportunity to visit with 5 cousins that live in various locations over the U.S. that came together in Kansas City for Christmas. One of those cousins is fighting a brain tumor but currently seems to be doing well.

This time was a beautiful way to build up my faith

and re-connect with family before my send off.

After I returned from the conference I had a week to spend with my family before heading off for Guadalajara. My home in Greencastle, PA looked like a winter wonderland. I enjoyed the snow more than normal, knowing that I wouldn't be seeing it again for possibly 8 years. Friday, January 8th 2010 my family and I ordered out Indian food (my favorite) ate together at home, and played a board game. It was a great family night with lots of laughter and as the evening came to a close I tried to ignore the fact that this would be the last time I saw them until who knows when. While I tried hard to ignore the facts, my family gathered around and we prayed

for safe travels and the life I would begin in

Mexico. The tears of course couldn't be repressed

any longer as I said my goodbyes to each

individual family member. I was pleased to see my cat Kiko and my dog Luneta had adjusted well to their new home at my parents house. My other cat Chinche was adopted by my brother and also seems to be thriving. I've included pictures of my animals (except Chinche:( ) since I did not include them the last time. During my last stay in Mexico I cried anytime Fabian mentioned my pet's names whereas this time my pet transition has been much smoother because I had sufficient time to say goodbye to them and to see they had adjusted well to their new homes.

Francisco, a friend from the Chambersburg

Church of the Nazarene, where I interpreted for the past year, agreed to escort me over the border through Monterrey and down into San Luis Potosi where he grew up. I enjoyed the trip down because we were able to visit Francisco's family in Texas, Monterrey and San Luis Potosi, turning our trip into an adventure. Francisco's family entertained me with stories of hidden gold and talk of treasure hunts while I surprised them by my ability to cook, crochet and love my husband.

The entire trip I tried not to think about Fabian or our reunion. I knew that would make time crawl by. Francisco and I picked up his elderly parents and his nieces's husband in Monterrey and

drove them down to his home town of Moctezuma, San Luis Potosi. We stayed in town in a new home they had built that was spacious but barren. It was unbelievably cold. I wore a sweater, a jacket and a long down coat with a fur trimmed esquimo hood tied tightly around my face. Despite my many layers I continued to shiver. No, it was not snowy like in PA but we also didn't have any heat. The house's concrete walls seemed to gather in the moisture from outside and make the cold go deep into our bones. At night I wore the same clothes to bed (including my winter esquimo coat) and piled on the 2 or 3 thick blankets they had given me but continued to shiver. I couldn't believe I was about 8-10 hours over the border of Mexico and still having to suffer the cold.

The next day Francisco and I filled up some tin buckets with water from the spigot outside and put them on the stove to prepare bath water. I dreaded the idea of bathing in such cold but faced it by volunteering to go first. Oh thank God I don't have to do that every day! They had a shower in the bathroom

but since Francisco's parent's had gone to Monterrey to be with

family for Christmas, the house was left empty and the hot water

heater was stolen. The culprits would have had to scale a 10-12 foot

wall in order to steal it but I guess it was worth it to them. Not only

was the hot water heater stolen but the water in the house had been

connected wrong and came out as a trickle, thus we had to go outside

and bring water in when we needed it. After we were all clean and colder

than ever, we piled into Francisco's SUV to head out to his parent's ranch. We hadn't even gone 30 seconds down the road when I received a call from Fabian saying he was about 10 minutes away by his calculations. My heart beat hard and my stomach knotted up as I suddenly realized I was about to see my husband for the first time in 8 months. The patience that I had held onto for a year and a

half suddenly found it's end and I commanded time to move faster. Of course time doesn't take commands from me and I had to deal with the sluggish ticking of my watch. I described to Fabian the car we were driving and the intersection he would find us parked at. I watched intently as cars rolled through the stop sign at the intersection, anxiously awaiting a car that met the descriptions of the one he was in. Finally I saw it! I jumped out of the car, waved my arms in the air to get his attention and screamed into the cell phone, "I think I see you!!! Is that you!!?? I think I see you!!" He parked haphazardly, we embraced and the rest is the beginning of our second life together. :)

As Fabian and I drove 6 hours back to Guadalajara, I couldn't stop staring at him. I would run my hands over his face trying to remember every detail that I had just about forgotten in the time we'd been apart. It wasn't an awkward moment, rather a very giddy one. We had both spent so much time dreaming about this day that our nerves were affecting our stomachs. Our grins couldn't be contained as we realized this was happening in real life and no longer just in our dreams.

Well, if this was a movie that's where the story

would end, but since this is reality the story goes

on and begins a new chapter. In this chapter we

begin the transition of being back together again,

starting new routines and of me accepting my

new home and learning new survival skills. It's

like starting kindergarten. I have to make new friends, learn how to do basic things and become familiar with the norms of a new community. I'm doing well this time. I am not afraid. The last time fear plagued me but this time I have a confidence that I am here for a reason and nothing can harm me unless it's part of a bigger plan.

I've been here almost 4 weeks now. Luckily the weather in this area is perfect! If I'm in the shade it's cool like Springtime and if I'm in the sun it's nice and toasty. Fabian works as a police officer/body guard for the sub director of Tonala three days a week. Those three days I enjoy researching topics of interest online, crocheting blankets, teaching myself guitar and studying French. I had an interview Saturday for a job teaching English but will probably turn it down and look around at some other opportunities first. There seem to be lots of bilingual jobs available and even more teaching English. We invested in a second car for me to use and I have driven in the streets by myself a few times. I feel fairly comfortable driving, although I have to keep an eye out for swerving cars, pot holes, speed bumps, people and an assortment of animals. Every Sunday afternoon Fabian and I go to the market and buy our food for the week. His father has a stand at the market selling random electronic items such as T.V. remotes, and watch batteries. I love the market because of it's bright colors and lively atmosphere. The only thing I find discusting are the heaping piles of pig skin slathered in salsa ready for passersby to enjoy it's fatty flavors. Uggh...that makes me renew my vows to eat healthy every week. Well, I thank you for your prayers as I get adjusted to my new life and I pray that you are all doing well! Until next time here is a verse to think on:

"Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."

-James 4:13-15

Reflections: My point with this verse is that we can plan our lives as much as we want but our lives can change or be taken away from us in a second. I hope each one of you live your daily lives conscious of our fragility. Remember what your priorities are. Live your life enjoying every moment, taking in stride any obstacles that present themselves, but seek out truth and prepare yourself for the day that your life will end. It's not meant to be depressing, it's just reality. Are you ready for whatever the reality of your future may be? Would you be comfortable with the way you've lived life if your end comes sooner than expected? The past several years have forced me to keep this in the forefront of my mind and I pray you too would consider these questions often.

Love and blessings,

Alicia

Photos from top to bottom: Photo #1) A winter wonderland and my former home. Photo #2) Creek view at home. Photo #3) Kiko, my cat sleeping on top of my Bible in a very uncomfortable looking superman pose. Photo #4) Luneta, my dog with her typical sad eyes...she gets those from Fabian...but beware it's all a front...neither of them are as pathetic as they appear and both are simply tricking you into giving them attention. It works every time! :) Photo #5) Francisco, my dear friend who did me the huge favor of driving me and all my things to Mexico. I enjoyed our conversations and the spiritual encouragement that you gave me! Thank you so much! Photo #6) Fabian Escobar Cholico, my hubby in his police uniform. He was born to protect; I feel very safe walking around with him by my side. Lucky for me he is not in policeman mode all the time and also knows how to be a gentle, affectionate husband...and when he's not I remind him I'm his wife and not a criminal. :) Photo #7) Me at the "tianguis" or market buying our food for the week.